I stood in the room looking at my face in the mirror. A beautiful off white gown could be seen as a part of my reflection. I looked down at the dresser to see an assortment of sparkling jewelry gleaming back at me. The room was entirely too large to be a last minute room, something Seiko had managed to find somehow.
My head turned to see Kierra and Seiko sliding into their dresses taking about a million pictures of themselves. They were having so much laughing and being stupid they didn’t see me watching them intently.
I was fresh out the shower dressed in nothing but my bra and panties. My chest heaved with anticipation and not nervousness. I couldn’t wait to see Chris at the end of that altar. To see him smiling back at me.
To marry the man of my dreams.
To spend the rest of my life with the man that God created just for me.
I looked back at myself in the mirror. A tear was sparkling in my eyes as I was reminded of all Chris and I had been through to get to this point. Between the lies, deceit, and the confusion of whether or not we were just friends or something more we had always found our way back to one another.
No matter how mad he used to make me, or how much I would hurt him when I would run away from my feelings. Even that psycho bitch Rihanna couldn’t stop this from happening. It took a while but it was fate that Chris and I coming back together and no matter how guilty we both felt, it was fate that got Karrueche taken from us.
Had she still been alive Chris would have never left her. I would have never taken him had she still been alive. I had too much respect for her; I loved that girl like she was my own sister.
I kissed a piece of paper on the dresser where I had cursively written Karrueche’s name. Chris and I had made a pact about our marital ceremony. We both had written letters to Karrueche, Aaron, and even Rihanna. We wanted to apologize for getting them caught up in our inability to recognize our love for one another.
I looked to the side to see Seiko about to fall over trying to put her shoes and necklace on at the same time. Kierra laughed snapping about twenty more pictures as Seiko fell in slow motion.
“Are you going to stand there or are you going to put on that dress?” My eyes met Kierra’s as she pointed to the beautiful creation that she had designed. “I mean Chris has already waited this long for you, you should be moving faster.” She joked then went to finish dressing herself.
Instead of answering I turned my attention back to the mirror. My tear had dried in my eye and I felt sheer anxiousness beginning to take over me. I sat down on one of the plush couches and began to apply a layer of lotion to my body. It was Chris’s favorite Victoria’s Secret fragrance.
“Come on Cinderella” Seiko begged still struggling to get her shoes on in the dress.
Still without saying anything I pulled on my corset already loving the way my body looked in it. My eyes went back to the big dress that was just waiting to entrap my body. The dress that is going to make all the difference in my life.
In that dress I will dedicate all of myself to Chris for the rest of my life.
I can’t wait.
Moving somewhat faster (not really) Seiko and Kierra finally managed to secure me in all of my wedding dressings.
“If I look half as good as you do on my wedding day Tyga will kiss my feet.” Seiko joked while she and Kierra stepped back taking a long look at me.
“She right, shawty you bad.” Kierra chimed in. “I am a genius.” I love how she just had to somehow make that about her.
“Are you guys sure?” I had my back to the mirror afraid to look at myself. My hands smoothed over my dress, my fingers remembering the delicate fabric and designs that were there. I felt like I was in a dream and looking at myself would put me back into reality.
I didn’t want to ruin the moment.
“Why don’t you look for yourself?” My eyes met Bow’s as he stood at the door. His eyes lingered on me for a moment and he smiled. “Cause damn you look good.” I smiled and then just as quickly he was completely concerned with Kierra.
I turned slowly towards the mirror.
My mouth hung open.
My reflection portrayed a seemingly flawless woman dressed for the event of a lifetime.
Her dress long past her feet, hugging her upper body and big and poofy at the bottom: just like a princess. Her hair was curled all around her face and hung down past her shoulders.
Her face lightly painted with thin colors to bring out her eyes and a dark powder to match her complexion. Her earrings were simple studs that were almost hidden in her hair. Her shoes kept her four inches off the ground and most likely still six inches shorter than the man that would meet her at the end of the aisle.
One of her wrists was accented with a diamond bracelet, a gift from the man that in just a few would be her husband for eternity. One of her rings fingers beheld the large engagement ring he had presented her with. Her nails were painted to bring out the small traces of teal that could be found in her dress. Her neck was accompanied by a spilling diamond necklace that made her whole body chill.
And to top it all off there was a tiara on her head. She opted against a veil.
She wanted him to see all of her when she met him at the altar.
I was beautiful. I don’t think I have ever looked as beautiful in my life as I did right now.
“I think I’m going to cry.” I wailed trying to keep the tears at bay as Kierra handed me my bouquet and I was hit with the full effect.
This is it.
Today is the day.
I have never been so happy in my entire life.
“You ready Maddy Mad?” Seiko chuckled bumping me in the arm while picking up her own much smaller bouquet.
“She better be, I bet Chris is about to have a fit.” Kierra whined looking down at her phone probably noticing that we were already late. She needs to understand that I don’t care.
This is my day: I’ll be there when I get there.
“Y’all go ahead; I think I need a minute.” I decided, which was no use because Tyga had come into the room and all of sudden no one else in the room existed to Seiko. Kierra looked back at me and gave me an encouraging smile before closing the door behind them.
I slid down on to the seat that moments earlier Kierra and Seiko were hovering over doing my make-up and taking loose my hair. Now it was just me, left in a room to stare in a mirror.
Every moment of my life with Chris passed through my mind while I dwelled there. I recalled all of our happy and sad times. The times where we pissed each off and the times when we couldn’t keep our hands off of one another. I reminisced one last time on all that we had been through together and how far we had come.
I picked back up my letter to Karrueche. I folded it nicely and kissed it one last time. I thanked her for everything she has given me. I looked at my letter to Aaron and did the same. My eyes lingered on my letter to Rihanna, it was the only combined letter that Chris and I did.
The main reason we did it combined was because the only thing I had to say to her was “thanks for fucking up so I could get my man.” Chris didn’t like that too much. I folded her letter and then set all three letters on top of a candle and watched them crumble in flames.
I wiped off my hands to find that my engagement ring had gotten a little burned during the process and smiled. It was a symbol of all that it took for Chris and I to get to this point.
Once all that was done I felt like I could move again. I stood slowly and gathered everything that I would need back into my hands.
Only to slide back down into the seat.
Something wasn’t feeling right.
Something was missing.
“Girl if you don’t come on, got Chris out there about to sweat a bucket!” I turned and smiled widely. Now I really felt like I could go on. I stood again and captured her in a hug.
Through it all she is the one we really needed to be thanking for Chris and I finally being able to get to this point.
“I’m so glad you’re here!” I cried into her shoulder. She hugged me tightly before pushing me away.
“Mhmm I know you are, that’s why I didn’t get an invite.” I looked down and she grabbed my chin. “I’m just kidding, now smile.” I smiled. “That’s the beautiful smile he wants to see, now come on: I didn’t sit on a plane all day to watch my son have a panic attack at the altar.” I laughed.
“I love you Momma.”
“I love you too baby.”
“Do you Madison take Christopher to love, to hold, and to cherish until death do you part?” My heart stopped beating as I waited for the two words to spill from her mouth. I had already declared my sentiment to her.
I had stopped sweating once she finally appeared looking so damn beautiful that I could barely keep my hands off of her. My heart started beating faster with each step she had taken to get to me. There had been a genuine smile on her face the entire time and I admit that woman, this woman, Madison changed my life.
She is changing my life.
And for that I will always be grateful.
When everyone turned against she was one of the few that stayed. She was there when I had nothing and watched me without jealously as I moved into fame. Her presence at my events and shows made all the difference.
Madison has made the difference in my life that I needed.
She is everything to me.
“Wait.” I breathed and Madison’s head snapped to me in anger.
“Chrissss” She ground out, that tinge of infuriation easily heard in her words.
“Man what you doing?” Tyga called from behind me. Instead of responding I smiled at all of them and got back down on one knee.
“Chris what are you—” I put a finger to my lips hushing her.
“We started out
That we would just be friends
But special feelings
What are we suppose to do now
Here in the mean while
I really love the way
You make me feel inside you wonder why my spirit is happy
Cause you came in
And changed the meaning
Of a true friend
And this is just the beginning
You touched my heart
Whenever you speak to me
I love what we have going on
I may never find another one like you for me”
“Chrisss” She cried, I stood my hand still in hers.
“I wrote that for you, even back then.” She smiled through her tears. “Because it’s true, I’ll never find another you.”
“And I do.” She turned to the preacher her hand squeezing mine.
“Well by the power invested in me, by God, the state of Nevada, I do pronounce you man and wife. Chris you may kiss your bride!” I scooped Madison in my arms and crushed my lips onto hers.
When I finally let her go all I heard were congratulations and Momma came up tears in her eyes. She did the best that she could of clutching me and Madison.
“I’m soo proud of you.” She cried. “Don’t screw this up.” She then hit the both of us upside the head.
“We won’t Momma, we won’t.”